Navigating Pregnancy After Loss
Hi all!
Since the last time I wrote a lot has happened. One major thing that has happened is that I am pregnant again! Yay! We are very excited, but also nervous at times and I have been feeling like I need to write about how it is going and how we are handling another pregnancy after going through a loss. My hope is to be honest, real, and raw with how it has been going in hopes to help other mama's who are trying to navigate the same road, to not feel alone, and to feel supported. Also, I understand not everyone will relate to what I say because we are all different. At the end I have some experiences from other mom's who have had losses at different stages of pregnancy as well! Hopefully something will resonate with you. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with out second baby girl. Our first baby, Josie, was stillborn at 39 weeks just a little over a year ago (you can read more about our experience with that in my previous post).
It's been a roller coaster to be pregnant again and I have definitely had my ups and downs. Surprisingly, I have had a lot of really good days (I know that sounds pessimistic, but I was REALLY nervous going into another pregnancy). I have dealt with anxiety pretty much my whole life so I was nervous what another pregnancy after losing Josie would do to me. I have had a lot of peace which has been a huge blessing to me (I attribute that to a lot of prayer and a very loving Heavenly Father who has had a lot of compassion on me). With that said, I have also had some extremely hard days where I just feel exhausted physically and emotionally.
When we found out we were pregnant, I couldn't believe it. Seth and I were very excited, but if I am being honest I was very nervous and cautious. I wouldn't let myself imagine it too much because I was scared if I had hope of bringing this baby home it would all get ripped away from me. When we lost Josie at full-term everything was looking perfect and great and I was full of hope and excitement that she was coming home with us and I felt like when I finally hit that point of, "nothing will go wrong now" is when we went to the hospital to find out that she had passed away and there was no heartbeat. So, at the beginning of this pregnancy it was very hard for me to have hope because I felt like I had been let down by that feeling before. This is probably sounding counter-intuitive because we had been trying to get pregnant and we wanted this baby, she was no surprise. There is a difference between preparing to be pregnant and actually being pregnant. Reality hit me and I realized we were actually doing it again and I didn't know if I could do it. BUT here I am and I'm doing it! Sometimes more gracefully than other times. After a couple weeks I was able to settle in a little bit and get more excited and calmer. I had a lot more peace and was starting to let myself feel hope and excitement for this new baby. I realized that things don't have to go exactly the same way as it did with Josie. I have also realized that whether or not we get to bring this baby home I want to celebrate her and have joy because even if things did go wrong I wouldn't want to have the regret that I didn't love her as fiercely as I could. There are still days I worry or breakdown, but I have found that I can still have a lot of hope and love for this new little baby girl! Below are some things that have helped me get to this point in my pregnancy that maybe can help you too.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People- I have been really lucky to have Seth as my spouse. He is a very level-headed, calm, hopeful person. From day one he has been so excited and hopeful and honestly that's where I get a lot of strength! He balances me out. As I mentioned previously, most days I do really well and I am excited and hopeful, but there have been some really rough days that Seth comes home from work and I am in the middle of a breakdown and spend the whole night scared and crying. That's just the reality of my life sometimes. He has always been there in my darker moments to just hold me and help me know that it's okay that I feel this way, but also that everything is going to be okay in the end. He is the voice of reason when I get really anxious and helps me get back to that place of peace. We have also been lucky to have very supportive friends and family who check in with us and see how we are doing. We are so lucky to have people around us who understand and are there for us if we need anything and it has been so nice to be able to talk to them about how things are really going whether good, bad, or just one the "meh" kind of days.
Find a Doctor you Wholeheartedly Trust! Find a doctor you can fully trust and you feel comfortable around! DON'T SETTLE for a doctor you don't fully trust or like. Our doctor has been very compassionate to the situation and right from the start he has always been willing to answer all my questions, asks about my mental health, and he has been very transparent about how we will proceed and the plan we have in place to get this baby here safely while at the same time making sure that we have our input as the parents. Find a doctor who doesn't dismiss your feelings, fears, or mental health.
Take Care of Yourself Physically and Mentally- Be okay with where you are at each day and be okay with getting help from someone else if you need it. Like I said before, my doctor checks on my anxiety at every appointment and he listens and we are able to have open dialogue of how I am really feeling. Some stages of pregnancy have been really difficult and some have been easier and THAT'S OKAY. I remember at one of our family Christmas parties I was talking to one of my sisters-in-law. She was asking how I was doing and I could have easily just said, "I'm good, things are going well!" My go-to response when I don't know if someone actually wants to hear how I am really feeling (anyone else been there?). This time I decided to be honest with her because that week had been a rough one for me physically and mentally. Christmas is around the time we lost Josie and that week I was feeling pure exhaustion emotionally and I was feeling pure exhaustion physically. It felt like the trial we were facing with having our daughter gone and being pregnant with another baby with only a six month break in between was too heavy for me and I just didn't have the strength to bear it anymore. In that moment, I just needed someone other than Seth (I always let him know how I am feeling honestly) to know that it was really hard and that I was really tired going through what we were going through. She was so sweet and supportive and just listened to how I was feeling and was so sympathetic to me. By telling her how I felt I felt heard and I felt like I didn't have to go through this alone. There were people all around us who were there for us. Sometimes taking care of your mental health is confiding in people you trust and letting them ease that burden just a little bit. Sometimes it is meditating, journaling, giving our brain a rest by watching a show, getting outside, or whatever it is you do to take care of your mental health. Physically what has helped me is when I am eating well, when I go on walks and get outside, when Seth and I play games, and being as productive as I can be with doing work or cleaning the house. Sometimes I don't do much in a day and my body is aching or I am real tired. Those days are needed as well. Just remember to take care of yourself. Also side note: If you are feeling down or depressed and it is consistent or your anxiety is taking over every day, get help. Your doctor wants to help take care of you physically and mentally and there are so many resources to help you be able to feel more like yourself.
Pray/Meditate/Journal- I am a religious person, but I understand that not everyone is. For me praying is crucial. I need that open communication with God to know that he understands how I am feeling. I know he has given me peace and hope and excitement through this pregnancy and if it wasn't for him it would be much harder. I rely on Jesus Christ and his atonement and the knowledge that he has felt every single feeling and pain that I have felt. And he can help carry that burden for me. If you aren't religious and don't pray, find something you can do to connect and gain strength from, whether it's mediating, journaling, exercising, etc. Find something to do or someone to talk to that can give you that peace and strength that you need to keep going.
Get Rid of Expectations- I feel like we put these expectations on ourselves of when we need to announce being pregnant, when we need to set up the nursery, when to pack a hospital bad, who we need to tell, etc. Just get rid of those expectations and do what is best for you. You don't have to announce your pregnancy at 8, 12, 16, 20, 40, or however many weeks. With Josie we announced to our parents pretty much right after, our families at 8 weeks, and on social media at 12. With this baby we told our parents a week after we found out, siblings around 8 weeks, and we didn't announce on social media until 16 weeks. Neither of those time frames were wrong. It didn't mean were weren't excited. We had just gone through the pain of when Josie died where people would often ask us, "Didn't you just have a baby?", "How is your baby doing?" This was at a really raw time for us where we would then have to explain what happened and it was extremely difficult. I just wanted everyone to know that she wasn't home with us, or to not even know that we were pregnant because explaining it every time was painful. Announcing this time at 16 weeks took a big burst of bravery for me because I was so scared I would announce it and have to retract it. We let our family and close friends know pretty much around the same time as with Josie because they are people we would still tell even if we miscarried or something happened and we needed their support and prayers. Some people after suffering a miscarriage or stillbirth want to tell people right away, and that is just fine! And some people don't announce it at all on social media or anything and that is also just fine. Don't feel like you have to do it a certain way. Just get rid of the expectation.Regarding when to start the nursery or when to announce or how to handle it all, sometimes we just have to take it day by day. Don't feel like because someone else did it a certain way, you have to. Like I said before, we are all new to navigating this road and sometimes it is just hard! It is doable and you can do it! And you can do it the way you want to.
Enjoy the Moment! Like I said at the beginning, I realized pretty early on I wanted to have hope and excitement and I wanted to love this baby fiercely. I knew that even if we lost this one as well I didn't want to regret anything and it wouldn't make the pain any easier if I guarded myself from loving her or getting too attached, in fact it would probably make it harder because I would probably feel guilt. I have hung on to that hope. Sometimes I lean on Seth for that hope, but it's always there. One thing I have tried to do is to celebrate as much as I can. I was debating even putting anything on social media at the beginning, but I made a conscious choice that I wanted to celebrate this baby just as much as I did with Josie and I wanted people to know her no matter what! And as soon as I did we were flooded with support, so don't be afraid to let people in or let them know. More often than not we will be surprised at how many people care and are supportive of us and want to help in anyway they can! I have let myself imagine what it will be like when she is here (which for the first little bit of pregnancy I literally couldn't imagine, but I can now. Woo! Progress.) I talk to her often and I stay in bed just a little longer in the mornings just to feel her living and breathing inside me because that's her most active time. It is the coolest part of pregnancy to me to feel life inside of me. It really is a miracle. I get excited when I see her on the ultrasound and hear her heart (at the beginning this was not the case. I would get major anxiety right before every appointment up until about 20 weeks because I was just sure he would tell me again, "there is no heartbeat", which is the most devastating news I have received in my life). It has been hard being pregnant again after what we went through, but there has also been SO MUCH JOY in getting to bring another life into this world. I am so grateful I get to be her mom and Josie's mom and I wouldn't change a thing.
Other Mama's Experiences: I reached out to see if anyone had any tips or just experiences to share about getting through pregnancy after experiencing a loss at any stage. I got some really amazing feedback and I want to share what other mama's have said. I hope that through reading these you will find something that resonates with you and helps you know YOU CAN DO IT! Like I said before, I understand if my experience is not the way you feel because we are all different. I am no expert. That is why I reached out for more experiences! I also hope you feel what I felt for these amazing women as I read these which is pure love for them. I also have an amazing friend, Aimee, who has suffered 3 miscarriages, has one live little girl (so cute!), and is pregnant again who shares about tips to get through pregnancy after miscarriage on her YouTube channel. Go check her out by clicking here!
"I feel like I was strong after both miscarriages, however it has made me more cautious and nervous with some aspects of pregnancy. I took longer to announce I was pregnant with Carson cause I wanted to "make sure it was really happening". It has made me more nervous with planning for our future family since it took a year to get Carson here. Thinking about how far apart I'd like my kids, I have this battle in my mind on when I should start just in case I miscarry again... but I know it shouldn't be that way and it'll work out the way the Lord needs it to... but I still get nervous."
"I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks before I was pregnant with Risa. The miscarriage kind of ruined pregnancy for me. It wasn't exciting or magical for me. The whole pregnancy I was pretty miserable (even though it went smoothly and didn't have a single issue). I was constantly fearing that any second the baby would die. Dreading each doctor's appointment, where I was sure there wouldn't be a heartbeat. Even with my pregnancy now I am still not totally enjoying it. Each kick or hiccup I feel from our baby boy brings a sigh of relief. What has helped me this time around is a better, more honest relationship with my doctor and a stronger testimony. If I do all I can- take the gross vitamins, exercise, try to eat healthy, go to the doctors etc. that God will then cover the rest. I still worry, but I know that everything will work out."
"This has been something on my mind as I experienced a couple miscarriages the past few months and I am 6 weeks pregnant again. I don't know if I have any good advice but what I'm trying to do is find the balance of having hope, but also keeping my mind open to expecting whatever may be.. if that makes sense? When I had my miscarriage I bled a lot at 6 weeks and was scared of having a miscarriage, but my doctor wasn't sure if I would miscarry or not. After a few days I decided I couldn't worry about it and grieve about it until it actually happened-- which it did when I was almost 12 weeks. I'm glad I decided to put it aside and be hopeful because for 6 weeks I didn't have to feel the grief and fear until I knew it was actually going to happen. And I definitely took my time to grieve once it did :)"
"I absolutely do not mind talking about my sweet angel Liam! I would say the absolute #1 for me going through such a tiral and proceeding afterward was the Gospel knowledge and turning to Christ to buoy me up. It's because of that I know all is not lost and I was highly blessed with a sneak peek of one of my sons I get to raise later! About pregnancy after loss. I believe for me going through that loss I realized that EVERY breath we take is an absolute gift from God. I have to trust him when I'm pregnant, and when that child is 2 or 5 or 10 or 25 or 45 it isn't just pregnancy that is risky. So learning to really truly, truly turn over everything that you love to Christ will give you the peace for the future and gratitude for the present. I also believe that other moms that went through their own loss and them sharing their story helped me. Two weeks after I gave birth to my sleeping baby my cousin came out with her story 10 years after the loss of her full term baby. Something she said stood out to me. She said she robbed herself of the - what she called it - the 'naive excitement' that pregnancy is for most because she was so worried about losing the others. She didn't get to enjoy each step that she had through pregnancy with her 3 kids after that loss. So I told myself that I would still enjoy each step of the way and have that 'naive excitement' with my other pregnancies. I've loved every step with our current baby. Loving the blow outs, loving the midnight feedings etc., etc. Just having gratitude for each little step I've been so beautifully blessed with. Giving birth to my sleeping angel is probably the most sacred moment of my life. Heaven was literally palpable and you could very clearly feel his presence. I gave my child back to Christ that day and I believe Christ was there for me at that moment. I could feel the sorrow, but as I held my son... I felt that the joy cometh in the morning and that morning will come. We have been profoundly blessed ever since that day, we are being taken care of in more ways than I could have ever imagined. So my main thing. Turning to Christ and truly doing so, as cliche as that sounds because one you do - and I am so grateful we have - the floodgates of Heavens blessings have come pouring down on us."
Thanks for reading! If you have any questions for me about my experience with loss or being pregnant, or anything for that matter, please ask! I am open to answer any questions. Also, if you have experiences you want to share or anything that has helped you write them in the comments. I love hearing about other's experiences because we can all help each other out be sharing and listening.
Love you all!
Megan
Since the last time I wrote a lot has happened. One major thing that has happened is that I am pregnant again! Yay! We are very excited, but also nervous at times and I have been feeling like I need to write about how it is going and how we are handling another pregnancy after going through a loss. My hope is to be honest, real, and raw with how it has been going in hopes to help other mama's who are trying to navigate the same road, to not feel alone, and to feel supported. Also, I understand not everyone will relate to what I say because we are all different. At the end I have some experiences from other mom's who have had losses at different stages of pregnancy as well! Hopefully something will resonate with you. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with out second baby girl. Our first baby, Josie, was stillborn at 39 weeks just a little over a year ago (you can read more about our experience with that in my previous post).
It's been a roller coaster to be pregnant again and I have definitely had my ups and downs. Surprisingly, I have had a lot of really good days (I know that sounds pessimistic, but I was REALLY nervous going into another pregnancy). I have dealt with anxiety pretty much my whole life so I was nervous what another pregnancy after losing Josie would do to me. I have had a lot of peace which has been a huge blessing to me (I attribute that to a lot of prayer and a very loving Heavenly Father who has had a lot of compassion on me). With that said, I have also had some extremely hard days where I just feel exhausted physically and emotionally.
When we found out we were pregnant, I couldn't believe it. Seth and I were very excited, but if I am being honest I was very nervous and cautious. I wouldn't let myself imagine it too much because I was scared if I had hope of bringing this baby home it would all get ripped away from me. When we lost Josie at full-term everything was looking perfect and great and I was full of hope and excitement that she was coming home with us and I felt like when I finally hit that point of, "nothing will go wrong now" is when we went to the hospital to find out that she had passed away and there was no heartbeat. So, at the beginning of this pregnancy it was very hard for me to have hope because I felt like I had been let down by that feeling before. This is probably sounding counter-intuitive because we had been trying to get pregnant and we wanted this baby, she was no surprise. There is a difference between preparing to be pregnant and actually being pregnant. Reality hit me and I realized we were actually doing it again and I didn't know if I could do it. BUT here I am and I'm doing it! Sometimes more gracefully than other times. After a couple weeks I was able to settle in a little bit and get more excited and calmer. I had a lot more peace and was starting to let myself feel hope and excitement for this new baby. I realized that things don't have to go exactly the same way as it did with Josie. I have also realized that whether or not we get to bring this baby home I want to celebrate her and have joy because even if things did go wrong I wouldn't want to have the regret that I didn't love her as fiercely as I could. There are still days I worry or breakdown, but I have found that I can still have a lot of hope and love for this new little baby girl! Below are some things that have helped me get to this point in my pregnancy that maybe can help you too.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People- I have been really lucky to have Seth as my spouse. He is a very level-headed, calm, hopeful person. From day one he has been so excited and hopeful and honestly that's where I get a lot of strength! He balances me out. As I mentioned previously, most days I do really well and I am excited and hopeful, but there have been some really rough days that Seth comes home from work and I am in the middle of a breakdown and spend the whole night scared and crying. That's just the reality of my life sometimes. He has always been there in my darker moments to just hold me and help me know that it's okay that I feel this way, but also that everything is going to be okay in the end. He is the voice of reason when I get really anxious and helps me get back to that place of peace. We have also been lucky to have very supportive friends and family who check in with us and see how we are doing. We are so lucky to have people around us who understand and are there for us if we need anything and it has been so nice to be able to talk to them about how things are really going whether good, bad, or just one the "meh" kind of days.
Find a Doctor you Wholeheartedly Trust! Find a doctor you can fully trust and you feel comfortable around! DON'T SETTLE for a doctor you don't fully trust or like. Our doctor has been very compassionate to the situation and right from the start he has always been willing to answer all my questions, asks about my mental health, and he has been very transparent about how we will proceed and the plan we have in place to get this baby here safely while at the same time making sure that we have our input as the parents. Find a doctor who doesn't dismiss your feelings, fears, or mental health.
Take Care of Yourself Physically and Mentally- Be okay with where you are at each day and be okay with getting help from someone else if you need it. Like I said before, my doctor checks on my anxiety at every appointment and he listens and we are able to have open dialogue of how I am really feeling. Some stages of pregnancy have been really difficult and some have been easier and THAT'S OKAY. I remember at one of our family Christmas parties I was talking to one of my sisters-in-law. She was asking how I was doing and I could have easily just said, "I'm good, things are going well!" My go-to response when I don't know if someone actually wants to hear how I am really feeling (anyone else been there?). This time I decided to be honest with her because that week had been a rough one for me physically and mentally. Christmas is around the time we lost Josie and that week I was feeling pure exhaustion emotionally and I was feeling pure exhaustion physically. It felt like the trial we were facing with having our daughter gone and being pregnant with another baby with only a six month break in between was too heavy for me and I just didn't have the strength to bear it anymore. In that moment, I just needed someone other than Seth (I always let him know how I am feeling honestly) to know that it was really hard and that I was really tired going through what we were going through. She was so sweet and supportive and just listened to how I was feeling and was so sympathetic to me. By telling her how I felt I felt heard and I felt like I didn't have to go through this alone. There were people all around us who were there for us. Sometimes taking care of your mental health is confiding in people you trust and letting them ease that burden just a little bit. Sometimes it is meditating, journaling, giving our brain a rest by watching a show, getting outside, or whatever it is you do to take care of your mental health. Physically what has helped me is when I am eating well, when I go on walks and get outside, when Seth and I play games, and being as productive as I can be with doing work or cleaning the house. Sometimes I don't do much in a day and my body is aching or I am real tired. Those days are needed as well. Just remember to take care of yourself. Also side note: If you are feeling down or depressed and it is consistent or your anxiety is taking over every day, get help. Your doctor wants to help take care of you physically and mentally and there are so many resources to help you be able to feel more like yourself.
Pray/Meditate/Journal- I am a religious person, but I understand that not everyone is. For me praying is crucial. I need that open communication with God to know that he understands how I am feeling. I know he has given me peace and hope and excitement through this pregnancy and if it wasn't for him it would be much harder. I rely on Jesus Christ and his atonement and the knowledge that he has felt every single feeling and pain that I have felt. And he can help carry that burden for me. If you aren't religious and don't pray, find something you can do to connect and gain strength from, whether it's mediating, journaling, exercising, etc. Find something to do or someone to talk to that can give you that peace and strength that you need to keep going.
Get Rid of Expectations- I feel like we put these expectations on ourselves of when we need to announce being pregnant, when we need to set up the nursery, when to pack a hospital bad, who we need to tell, etc. Just get rid of those expectations and do what is best for you. You don't have to announce your pregnancy at 8, 12, 16, 20, 40, or however many weeks. With Josie we announced to our parents pretty much right after, our families at 8 weeks, and on social media at 12. With this baby we told our parents a week after we found out, siblings around 8 weeks, and we didn't announce on social media until 16 weeks. Neither of those time frames were wrong. It didn't mean were weren't excited. We had just gone through the pain of when Josie died where people would often ask us, "Didn't you just have a baby?", "How is your baby doing?" This was at a really raw time for us where we would then have to explain what happened and it was extremely difficult. I just wanted everyone to know that she wasn't home with us, or to not even know that we were pregnant because explaining it every time was painful. Announcing this time at 16 weeks took a big burst of bravery for me because I was so scared I would announce it and have to retract it. We let our family and close friends know pretty much around the same time as with Josie because they are people we would still tell even if we miscarried or something happened and we needed their support and prayers. Some people after suffering a miscarriage or stillbirth want to tell people right away, and that is just fine! And some people don't announce it at all on social media or anything and that is also just fine. Don't feel like you have to do it a certain way. Just get rid of the expectation.Regarding when to start the nursery or when to announce or how to handle it all, sometimes we just have to take it day by day. Don't feel like because someone else did it a certain way, you have to. Like I said before, we are all new to navigating this road and sometimes it is just hard! It is doable and you can do it! And you can do it the way you want to.
Enjoy the Moment! Like I said at the beginning, I realized pretty early on I wanted to have hope and excitement and I wanted to love this baby fiercely. I knew that even if we lost this one as well I didn't want to regret anything and it wouldn't make the pain any easier if I guarded myself from loving her or getting too attached, in fact it would probably make it harder because I would probably feel guilt. I have hung on to that hope. Sometimes I lean on Seth for that hope, but it's always there. One thing I have tried to do is to celebrate as much as I can. I was debating even putting anything on social media at the beginning, but I made a conscious choice that I wanted to celebrate this baby just as much as I did with Josie and I wanted people to know her no matter what! And as soon as I did we were flooded with support, so don't be afraid to let people in or let them know. More often than not we will be surprised at how many people care and are supportive of us and want to help in anyway they can! I have let myself imagine what it will be like when she is here (which for the first little bit of pregnancy I literally couldn't imagine, but I can now. Woo! Progress.) I talk to her often and I stay in bed just a little longer in the mornings just to feel her living and breathing inside me because that's her most active time. It is the coolest part of pregnancy to me to feel life inside of me. It really is a miracle. I get excited when I see her on the ultrasound and hear her heart (at the beginning this was not the case. I would get major anxiety right before every appointment up until about 20 weeks because I was just sure he would tell me again, "there is no heartbeat", which is the most devastating news I have received in my life). It has been hard being pregnant again after what we went through, but there has also been SO MUCH JOY in getting to bring another life into this world. I am so grateful I get to be her mom and Josie's mom and I wouldn't change a thing.
Other Mama's Experiences: I reached out to see if anyone had any tips or just experiences to share about getting through pregnancy after experiencing a loss at any stage. I got some really amazing feedback and I want to share what other mama's have said. I hope that through reading these you will find something that resonates with you and helps you know YOU CAN DO IT! Like I said before, I understand if my experience is not the way you feel because we are all different. I am no expert. That is why I reached out for more experiences! I also hope you feel what I felt for these amazing women as I read these which is pure love for them. I also have an amazing friend, Aimee, who has suffered 3 miscarriages, has one live little girl (so cute!), and is pregnant again who shares about tips to get through pregnancy after miscarriage on her YouTube channel. Go check her out by clicking here!
"I feel like I was strong after both miscarriages, however it has made me more cautious and nervous with some aspects of pregnancy. I took longer to announce I was pregnant with Carson cause I wanted to "make sure it was really happening". It has made me more nervous with planning for our future family since it took a year to get Carson here. Thinking about how far apart I'd like my kids, I have this battle in my mind on when I should start just in case I miscarry again... but I know it shouldn't be that way and it'll work out the way the Lord needs it to... but I still get nervous."
"I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks before I was pregnant with Risa. The miscarriage kind of ruined pregnancy for me. It wasn't exciting or magical for me. The whole pregnancy I was pretty miserable (even though it went smoothly and didn't have a single issue). I was constantly fearing that any second the baby would die. Dreading each doctor's appointment, where I was sure there wouldn't be a heartbeat. Even with my pregnancy now I am still not totally enjoying it. Each kick or hiccup I feel from our baby boy brings a sigh of relief. What has helped me this time around is a better, more honest relationship with my doctor and a stronger testimony. If I do all I can- take the gross vitamins, exercise, try to eat healthy, go to the doctors etc. that God will then cover the rest. I still worry, but I know that everything will work out."
"This has been something on my mind as I experienced a couple miscarriages the past few months and I am 6 weeks pregnant again. I don't know if I have any good advice but what I'm trying to do is find the balance of having hope, but also keeping my mind open to expecting whatever may be.. if that makes sense? When I had my miscarriage I bled a lot at 6 weeks and was scared of having a miscarriage, but my doctor wasn't sure if I would miscarry or not. After a few days I decided I couldn't worry about it and grieve about it until it actually happened-- which it did when I was almost 12 weeks. I'm glad I decided to put it aside and be hopeful because for 6 weeks I didn't have to feel the grief and fear until I knew it was actually going to happen. And I definitely took my time to grieve once it did :)"
"I absolutely do not mind talking about my sweet angel Liam! I would say the absolute #1 for me going through such a tiral and proceeding afterward was the Gospel knowledge and turning to Christ to buoy me up. It's because of that I know all is not lost and I was highly blessed with a sneak peek of one of my sons I get to raise later! About pregnancy after loss. I believe for me going through that loss I realized that EVERY breath we take is an absolute gift from God. I have to trust him when I'm pregnant, and when that child is 2 or 5 or 10 or 25 or 45 it isn't just pregnancy that is risky. So learning to really truly, truly turn over everything that you love to Christ will give you the peace for the future and gratitude for the present. I also believe that other moms that went through their own loss and them sharing their story helped me. Two weeks after I gave birth to my sleeping baby my cousin came out with her story 10 years after the loss of her full term baby. Something she said stood out to me. She said she robbed herself of the - what she called it - the 'naive excitement' that pregnancy is for most because she was so worried about losing the others. She didn't get to enjoy each step that she had through pregnancy with her 3 kids after that loss. So I told myself that I would still enjoy each step of the way and have that 'naive excitement' with my other pregnancies. I've loved every step with our current baby. Loving the blow outs, loving the midnight feedings etc., etc. Just having gratitude for each little step I've been so beautifully blessed with. Giving birth to my sleeping angel is probably the most sacred moment of my life. Heaven was literally palpable and you could very clearly feel his presence. I gave my child back to Christ that day and I believe Christ was there for me at that moment. I could feel the sorrow, but as I held my son... I felt that the joy cometh in the morning and that morning will come. We have been profoundly blessed ever since that day, we are being taken care of in more ways than I could have ever imagined. So my main thing. Turning to Christ and truly doing so, as cliche as that sounds because one you do - and I am so grateful we have - the floodgates of Heavens blessings have come pouring down on us."
Thanks for reading! If you have any questions for me about my experience with loss or being pregnant, or anything for that matter, please ask! I am open to answer any questions. Also, if you have experiences you want to share or anything that has helped you write them in the comments. I love hearing about other's experiences because we can all help each other out be sharing and listening.
Love you all!
Megan
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